in search of a better me...

i'm sad....most days. i put on a smiley face for my son and brian. i am on a search for a new therapist. i went to amazing one a few yrs ago....but we all now how much health insurance sucks....so i had to drop her :( she helped me a lot. i am a terrible self talker, and it is never anything positive. i am a worrier...ALL THE TIME! i worry about common things such as, i hope my son is doing ok with his new dyslexia teacher,i hope he isn't getting sick,i hope my husband makes it home safely from work. but then i WORRY about things such as, is there a murderer in my dark hallway, someone will steal my child through his bedroom window....basically things that are way out of left field. my brain will not ever turn off!! i need to know how to calm the voices down and try to make some sense out of them. i have had weight issues since about the 8th grade...although i would LOVE to be the weight i was in HS. i went for a brief stay in rehab for bulimia and depression . i still struggle with both of those(not the bulimia part,just the weight issue) daily....i need help....now i am even more sad :(